1. |
Terminus of Effort
22:29
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Dayglo:
Waiting for a signal. To call out your name. Not even a movement. Until another goes for you. Sit in vacuity. Not a move in sight. Watch the clock tick slowly. Still not a word received. Watch as the hours pass. Still not a decision is made. Whose fault really is it?
Signal far. Calling out your name. Still no movement. Another gone for you. Cowering alone in fear. Confrontation is the worst outcome. Disguised indifference. Really covers up fear. It's not that you can't. It's that you won't. Let the others die in the field. You hide under the warmth. Disguised indifference. Really covers up fear. Let the others die in the field. You hide under this warmth.
Fruit Taken From the Poisonous Tree:
You're sick of living. Unwilling to die. Don't worry. It only lasts a second. You're looking elsewhere. Unwilling to change. Don't worry. This only lasts a lifetime. You're walking away. Unwilling to move. Don't worry. This only lasts a mile. You're nervous to try. I'm waiting for you. Worry about this one. You can't get it back.
Don't think it doesn't matter. Today is just that. But tomorrow could call in. So make it out alive. Care because you care. It was your fault. Don't blame the other half. Don't try to laugh it off. Confront it with assurance. Fruit taken from a poisonous tree.
Eternal Recurrence:
I walk among the few standing. From my perspective at least. Realizing nothing is forever. Especially at such a low number. Slipping away at a rapid pace. Ones we never thought would fall. It had to happen. But not so soon. We watch vicariously. Grabbing the eyes of many.
We all act as if we're the first. But really, it's just basic math. A bigger pile, that no one wants to see. Slipping away at a rapid pace. Ones we never expected to die.
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2. |
Lapse
15:45
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Miss Emma:
Dependency from the start of the first drop. Waiting on the next stab. A little hole. To hide the pain. A new solution. For a small problem. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless. I know that it's terrible to you. But I know that you're terrible to me. We both feel. The heavier weight. Only one is able to leave the other. It doesn't even matter. This is the best thing that happened to you. But the worst to happen to me. This is what I have to show for. It's sad and vile. But it's mine. This self-pity is a coping mechanism. Unable to leave. Only live for one thing. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless. You don't understand. It may last a minute. But throughout the day. Those minutes are the only pleasure. Only live for one thing. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless.
Grieving Ignorance:
Always thought forever was forever. But when you haven't even touched a person you don't know how to use that word. Right when you think it's over. A new day comes to reset. And memories are cast behind a veil. When you think it's all new. You forgot your hidden memories. The core of your being. Your flesh and your blood. We all come back to a feeling. Another to sustain a lifeline. Others to make our blood flow. Others to keep us ahead. But forever is never forever. One hundred years can bury even the most shocking occurrence. But what happens when you're alive. Is what makes you live on.
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3. |
Treacherous
21:07
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...Worst of Luck:
Molded out of clay. All of us different. Uniqueness as a natural trait. Somehow I was chosen. Whatever it is they look at, I am blind to. I can't see red. I can't see color. I was told I was better. When all I wanted was to be alone. Comfort lies in knowledge. It was easier to assume. A frozen moment in time. I want to pull it out. Back when the past was mine. Now I can't wait in silence. I never thought to ask. Comfort came in assumption. Not willing to try. Safe by myself. The best luck always happens to those that don't need it. It can also happen to those who don't want it. I'm glad to have it, but I don't deserve it.
Cracked:
Staring down there. Watching all the fallen. Knowledge gained for our use. Knowledge used to fall. Watching all the pain. Implanting our methods. But did it save us? Or are we back at square one? A man once told me. All knowledge is worth something. But then I noticed. Murder only includes humans. Are we saving ourselves? Or pushing ourselves down the hill?
Do we actually need what we know? One more method against the one I hate. Do I want this? In the land of want. I know you don't ask of me. Because you don't need me. But still you beg for it. Never satisfied. I deliver.
Freedom is Slavery:
Flying the white flag. Holding up a sign of defeat. No longer afflicted. Free to roam again. I can fall with grace. I can run away. I'm allowed to crawl. You gave me the sign.
Things aren't the same. Similarities are all dead. I am liberated. To try and work. The wall is gone. My reasons are dead.
I'm moving too slow. You told me I'm fast. But the mind is power. And perception is slavery. I was told to hold back. But my arrow hit a target. I could fall with grace. I could run away. Was allowed to crawl. But the sign is gone.
Things are the same. Similarities have come back. I was liberated. To try and win. The wall is back. My reasons well in place.
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4. |
Analgesin
27:14
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Cloudsong:
Pacing down the hall. Waiting upon a command. Crying out the wordless hymn. Years of no response. He claims to know him well. His people claim this too. But deep down he knows. He only sings for the clouds. False hope might help. But, it took him a lifetime. To realize that it is what it is. An ambiguous number. He threatened to share. If only by fate. Threats, not cures.
He spoke of love and forgiveness. But also fire and brimstone. Until he couldn't take the denial. He didn't know his idol. Now he can't live in peace. Nothing else mattered. Now nothing takes its place, must have always been this way.
Cognitive Consonance:
Face aimed downwards. Been this way for too long. Head held low. Confrontation still is the worst outcome. Fear still runs your life. But, even the lowest soul has some love to feed the birds. Even myself could someday love. But, not for now. I refuse to see it. It doesn't exist. Dissonance created. I don't feel anything, where it should be. And I didn't want to either.
She can't intrude me. All one needs is the self. Dissonance is ringing loud. Confrontation is the worst outcome. I say I'm indifferent. You said I'm afraid. I willfully abstain. Unwillingly embrace. I willfully neglect. Unwillingly remember. I willfully hide. Unwillingly display.
Willing to Die:
To this I said Godspeed. A "Godspeed to you". Wandering away. Thanks for the ending. Even though it's all a haze, I'm glad it was documented. Sure, it could all go missing. But, enough of us saw it. Should I have kept going? Will you love me more? Will you lie out loud? Tell of the supposed better days. We relish the distant past. No matter how far away. Nothing is specific. What part really changed? Said the future held nothing, but really it might. Don't live in the past. Don't miss the future.
The songs were never happy. But they might've been honest. I was me. You were you. Now life feels worthless. And to this I say Godspeed. Godspeed to you.
Sensory Deprivation:
Godspeed to you.
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Blue Mist Bands Biddeford, Maine
"If we are unable to unify the past, present, and future of the sentence, then we are similarly unable to unify the past, present, and future of our own biographical experience of life. By molding the past into visual mirages or stereotypes, we effectively abolish any practical sense of the future and of the collective project, thereby leaving the thinking of future change to sheer cataclysm." ... more
Blue Mist Bands recommends:
Separation
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will rock yr fkn sox right off
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Untitled, Easter ‘19
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best show ov my life
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Vol. 1: Yahweh's Vacation
by The Pickman Bridge
continued here!
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Ataraxy
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Toronto band Respire deliver a post-hardcore tour de force on the largest scale possible, orchestrally rich and incessantly uncompromising.
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