Accompanying music film- www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaPSSYhwAlU
You know, I was thinking about whether two double albums in a year was a good idea, or at least one after another. SNSRY DPRVTN and this are only chronologically a few months apart, although work on SD traces all the way back to September of 2015. This album was made over the course of like 2 months maybe, but, it was definitely one of the strangest/most exciting experiences I've ever had recording music. I personally think it tops SNSRY, but of course I do, so that's not really for me to decide. Then again, in the words of my friend Ollie, music isn't a competition, make it the best you can and for that only. Thematically though, this is nearly a polar opposite of SNSRY. I'll go into that a bit, since that's what this section is for.
Sensory Deprivation was my outlet for my freshman/sophomore year angst, in the simplest of explanations. I had a lot of misplaced, confusing anger that came from both self-hatred, stress from the new environment, learning to make real friends who actually cared about my condition, and of course, learning to record on my own. One of my favorite "bands" really early on, was Nine Inch Nails, and part of that was because Trent did all of it, or most of it, himself. I found that really inspiring, despite him being an angsty bitch (I actually still love that music, but we all know it's true). During Sensory Deprivation, I honestly felt like that music was all I had. I was so confused and angry at everything, and to make matters worse, in love with one I couldn't have. It was the first time I ever "had feelings" or anything like that, and it fucked me up. Bad.
That feeling lasted until Sensory Deprivation was over, which was actually one of the main reasons I decided to quit SD. There is a huge duality between Analgesin and Sensory Deprivation, and it mainly lies in optimism. I know I still get really upset and still write songs about lost loves and stuff, but to quote Robert Smith, I only ever feel like writing when I'm sad or depressed. I'm not always like that, it's just that my favorite songs are rarely very happy. Anyway, SD pretty much just ended because I was tired of being so miserable all the time, and I felt like it'd be great to end on that climactic double album.
Analgesin was supposed to be a more optimistic Brenda, and so far, that has been achieved in my eyes. I think the songs are definitely sadder, but I'm rarely as angry as I used to be. I also learned a great deal of music theory, so the music is less dissonant, for better or worse. Or perhaps another thing; Sensory Deprivation was me doing Unwound; Analgesin is me doing The Microphones. The influences have shifted quite a bit, mainly because I knew a song like Gift Horse or Seed of Nothing would be out of place in Sensory Deprivation. But, let's talk about the album at hand.
What I've created is an accidental concept album. I knew I wanted another double album, but once I reached around 11 or 12 songs, I realized that the songs actually formed a narrative arc. An unoriginal one, but it's still there. I won't go into detail about that, since you can probably figure it out. It's very open to interpretation, I just found it amusing that the songs told a sort of story unintentionally. Let me know if you have an interpretation, if anyone actually listens to this.
As for the music itself, I think I've finally managed to feel comfortable writing under Analgesin, perhaps evidently, perhaps not. My guitar-playing and vocals in particular have improved a lot, I think at least. Been listening to lots of Smiths, R.E.M., Talk Talk, Slowdive, Mogwai, Red House Painters, Pavement, Mountain Goats, Miles Davis, and of course countless others, lately. I know those sounds, among tons of others, are on here, hopefully not as ripoffs. Jangly shoegazing, whispering and screaming, droning and syncopating, fuzzing and cleaning, and other overzealous descriptors baiting you into listening to this.
In all seriousness, this was a lot of hard work that got done surprisingly quick, probably due to my emotional state at the time. I consider myself to be of a relatively good mind at this point, I learned to love myself and others, and I learned to actually kind of enjoy existing. As terrible as it can be, I've gotten over the cynicism, and now I'm singing about it. It feels nice, hopefully it sounds nice. Enjoy whatever feeling this album gives. Thank you I guess. Meant to be listened to at extreme volumes.
Dedicated to Geneviève Elverum. It's a precious thing we lost.