SNSRY DPRVTN

by Sensory Deprivation

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Jacob Scheppler
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Jacob Scheppler Playful and youthful aggression that lies at the heart of punk music is expanded into a vast and dark sound, exploring anxiety and gloom through the lens of adolescence and immensity Favorite track: Treacherous.
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about

brendan nixon is fucking dead (that's what the answering machine said). well, i'm sorry it had to go on for this long. for real, this is the final new material you should expect from sensory deprivation, since i want to end before i have to nuke the fridge. this doesn't mean that i'll stop making music, in fact i have at least 4 projects to work on after this, some of which have songs finished. as for this album, i was really inspired by the boring bathtimes double album, and had always intended to do one for sd, since i think i could be diverse enough to occupy the space evenly. eventually, i started obsessively listening to all my favorite self-indulgent, sprawling double albums (deathconsciousness, leaves turn inside you, the glow pt 2, disintegration, et fucking cetera) and decided to finally try my hand at imitating my all time favorite album (leaves). sd has always borrowed perhaps a little too much from unwound, but i can't really express what they've meant to me.

anyway, i got the first disc done in maybe 2 weeks or so, which was absolutely insane. that one holds far more of the classic sd sound, with distorted skramz, nervous-curtis vocal melodies, sound collages, and overly-long songs without flow. but, i got way into jazz before this recording, so i tried to do more syncopation and just more technical drumming in general. the result is pretty much the pinnacle of what i wanted sd to be when i first envisioned it; in fact i'd argue that dayglo is the definitive sd song. miss emma was also the first song to be finished on this side, which is kinda different than past sd because it's less aggressive and more of a dreamy kind of frustration; not too far off from my last album in terms of enjoyment. i won't spoil the rest of the first disc, but just know it's a little more orthodox for sd, with some surprises.

now the 2nd disc is where i think i really tried to branch out and drop some of the blatant intensity. while it starts with one of the angriest songs on the album, it's pretty much the last you should expect. cloudsong is the only other song on this disc with skramz, but even then, it's more of my take on bauhaus than the traditional sd sound. that one is one of my favorites, mainly because my vox were so much fun to record, and the brief piano part. as for the other songs, freedom is slavery might as well be my first and only pop song, since it has a traditional structure, and the most massive chorus I've ever achieved, although it ends in typical sd fashion. cracked is another personal favorite, since the dynamics in the 2nd half are probably the biggest I've ever done. cognitive consonance was my attempt at a waltz, which technically was unsuccessful, but hey, it sucks being unable to count. the glockenspiel was broken, and i had to play it with a screwdriver since i lost my mallets. willing to die and the title track, those kind of hurt to listen to. the last sd, it makes me a little sad and reflective, but i didn't achieve anything so whatever. just know, that i tried to end on a high note, and that willing to die is really the final track. the title track is just an interlude. then that's it. we're done.

this is way more than i typically write for an album, but this is the last you'll ever hear of sensory deprivation, so i think it's worth it. even though i know it all meant nothing, and that it always will, i just want to end with something i can be proud of. i pity those who only cling to the past (i lived in the past, missing the future), so sensory deprivation will never reform. my other bands such as hyosis may play these songs live, since i don't think they'll really become irrelevant, but don't ever expect a formal reunion. i've met some great people over the internet through this, unfortunately never played any shows, pissed off some people, always had 200 free downloads, and always did it the way i felt it should go. i think it's a legacy i can be proud of, and maybe i'll get some of that punk cred now that it's over "too soon". thanks again to anyone who helped with anything, this is the end. sensory deprivation are/is fucking dead, long live analgesin and hyosis.

thanks to: ollie for contributing to this and enjoying my work, jacob for helping an amount almost too immense to express, mr. long for explaining what punk is and for giving me his pinkerton poster, the guys from elemantra for inspiration and goodwill, my senior friends from last year for helping me find me, a-web for pushing me beyond just gazi-worship into whatever i'm at now, catarina for the amazing cover art and enthusiasm, my parents for providing this equipment to make what i make (among other things), matt and ben for being in a band with me and intimately pleasuring me, dan barrett and tim macuga for infinite inspiration, my band teacher for encouraging me to drum better, jorge rodrigo allen for reminding me why i do this, chad from blue mist for lyrical inspiration, codeine for coping, anyone who hurt me in any way for giving me inspiration to write mopey songs, anyone who helped me in any way for making me an optimist for a few minutes, everyone who listened to anything sensory deprivation, and especially liked it and told others (you know who art thou)

... . -. ... --- .-. -.-- / -.. . .--. .-. .. ...- .- - .. --- -. / .- .-. . / ..-. ..- -.-. -.- .. -. --. / -.. . .- -.. --..-- / .-.. --- -. --. / .-.. .. ...- . / .- -. .- .-.. --. . ... .. -. / .- -. -.. / .... -.-- --- ... .. ...

dedicated to edwin harry zakian, father of one of the most important people i've met in my short life thus far

what others said:

"The living embodiment of a lucid dream"- Ollie Aldridge

"Talk about a fuckin swan song"- Jorge Roland Allen

"Like Pink Floyd jamming with NIN while Robert Smith joined in and Eno served drinks"- my dad

credits

released March 12, 2016

brendan nixon- guitar, vox
mike hawk- bass
rich head- drums
perk- piano on terminus of effort
ollie aldridge- guitars on title track
jacob scheppler- poetry on charon, vox on title track
erik-sheader smith- viola on cracked, title track
reigh erkinspay- various photographs
catarina miranda (myxo)- cover art (www.facebook.com/Myxo)

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Blue Mist Bands Biddeford, Maine

Home of Hyosis, Analgesin, Sensory Deprivation, Chester Sidewalks, and plenty more. Enjoy the noises...

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Track Name: Terminus of Effort
Dayglo:
Waiting for a signal. To call out your name. Not even a movement. Until another goes for you. Sit in vacuity. Not a move in sight. Watch the clock tick slowly. Still not a word received. Watch as the hours pass. Still not a decision is made. Whose fault really is it?

Signal far. Calling out your name. Still no movement. Another gone for you. Cowering alone in fear. Confrontation is the worst outcome. Disguised indifference. Really covers up fear. It's not that you can't. It's that you won't. Let the others die in the field. You hide under the warmth. Disguised indifference. Really covers up fear. Let the others die in the field. You hide under this warmth.

Fruit Taken From the Poisonous Tree:
You're sick of living. Unwilling to die. Don't worry. It only lasts a second. You're looking elsewhere. Unwilling to change. Don't worry. This only lasts a lifetime. You're walking away. Unwilling to move. Don't worry. This only lasts a mile. You're nervous to try. I'm waiting for you. Worry about this one. You can't get it back.

Don't think it doesn't matter. Today is just that. But tomorrow could call in. So make it out alive. Care because you care. It was your fault. Don't blame the other half. Don't try to laugh it off. Confront it with assurance. Fruit taken from a poisonous tree.

Eternal Recurrence:
I walk among the few standing. From my perspective at least. Realizing nothing is forever. Especially at such a low number. Slipping away at a rapid pace. Ones we never thought would fall. It had to happen. But not so soon. We watch vicariously. Grabbing the eyes of many.

We all act as if we're the first. But really, it's just basic math. A bigger pile, that no one wants to see. Slipping away at a rapid pace. Ones we never expected to die.
Track Name: Lapse
Miss Emma:
Dependency from the start of the first drop. Waiting on the next stab. A little hole. To hide the pain. A new solution. For a small problem. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless. I know that it's terrible to you. But I know that you're terrible to me. We both feel. The heavier weight. Only one is able to leave the other. It doesn't even matter. This is the best thing that happened to you. But the worst to happen to me. This is what I have to show for. It's sad and vile. But it's mine. This self-pity is a coping mechanism. Unable to leave. Only live for one thing. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless. You don't understand. It may last a minute. But throughout the day. Those minutes are the only pleasure. Only live for one thing. Nothing else can top this. Everyone is useless.

Grieving Ignorance:
Always thought forever was forever. But when you haven't even touched a person you don't know how to use that word. Right when you think it's over. A new day comes to reset. And memories are cast behind a veil. When you think it's all new. You forgot your hidden memories. The core of your being. Your flesh and your blood. We all come back to a feeling. Another to sustain a lifeline. Others to make our blood flow. Others to keep us ahead. But forever is never forever. One hundred years can bury even the most shocking occurrence. But what happens when you're alive. Is what makes you live on.
Track Name: Treacherous
...Worst of Luck:
Molded out of clay. All of us different. Uniqueness as a natural trait. Somehow I was chosen. Whatever it is they look at, I am blind to. I can't see red. I can't see color. I was told I was better. When all I wanted was to be alone. Comfort lies in knowledge. It was easier to assume. A frozen moment in time. I want to pull it out. Back when the past was mine. Now I can't wait in silence. I never thought to ask. Comfort came in assumption. Not willing to try. Safe by myself. The best luck always happens to those that don't need it. It can also happen to those who don't want it. I'm glad to have it, but I don't deserve it.

Cracked:
Staring down there. Watching all the fallen. Knowledge gained for our use. Knowledge used to fall. Watching all the pain. Implanting our methods. But did it save us? Or are we back at square one? A man once told me. All knowledge is worth something. But then I noticed. Murder only includes humans. Are we saving ourselves? Or pushing ourselves down the hill?

Do we actually need what we know? One more method against the one I hate. Do I want this? In the land of want. I know you don't ask of me. Because you don't need me. But still you beg for it. Never satisfied. I deliver.

Freedom is Slavery:
Flying the white flag. Holding up a sign of defeat. No longer afflicted. Free to roam again. I can fall with grace. I can run away. I'm allowed to crawl. You gave me the sign.

Things aren't the same. Similarities are all dead. I am liberated. To try and work. The wall is gone. My reasons are dead.

I'm moving too slow. You told me I'm fast. But the mind is power. And perception is slavery. I was told to hold back. But my arrow hit a target. I could fall with grace. I could run away. Was allowed to crawl. But the sign is gone.

Things are the same. Similarities have come back. I was liberated. To try and win. The wall is back. My reasons well in place.
Track Name: Analgesin
Cloudsong:
Pacing down the hall. Waiting upon a command. Crying out the wordless hymn. Years of no response. He claims to know him well. His people claim this too. But deep down he knows. He only sings for the clouds. False hope might help. But, it took him a lifetime. To realize that it is what it is. An ambiguous number. He threatened to share. If only by fate. Threats, not cures.

He spoke of love and forgiveness. But also fire and brimstone. Until he couldn't take the denial. He didn't know his idol. Now he can't live in peace. Nothing else mattered. Now nothing takes its place, must have always been this way.

Cognitive Consonance:
Face aimed downwards. Been this way for too long. Head held low. Confrontation still is the worst outcome. Fear still runs your life. But, even the lowest soul has some love to feed the birds. Even myself could someday love. But, not for now. I refuse to see it. It doesn't exist. Dissonance created. I don't feel anything, where it should be. And I didn't want to either.

She can't intrude me. All one needs is the self. Dissonance is ringing loud. Confrontation is the worst outcome. I say I'm indifferent. You said I'm afraid. I willfully abstain. Unwillingly embrace. I willfully neglect. Unwillingly remember. I willfully hide. Unwillingly display.

Willing to Die:
To this I said Godspeed. A "Godspeed to you". Wandering away. Thanks for the ending. Even though it's all a haze, I'm glad it was documented. Sure, it could all go missing. But, enough of us saw it. Should I have kept going? Will you love me more? Will you lie out loud? Tell of the supposed better days. We relish the distant past. No matter how far away. Nothing is specific. What part really changed? Said the future held nothing, but really it might. Don't live in the past. Don't miss the future.

The songs were never happy. But they might've been honest. I was me. You were you. Now life feels worthless. And to this I say Godspeed. Godspeed to you.

Sensory Deprivation:
Godspeed to you.