Trading Alienation for Anesthesia

by Analgesin

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A collection of songs about attempting to lose feeling, as if to build a shield to prevent every burden. Inspired partially by real people and things. Pay attention to the cycle.

Think it over.

"Once you have given up the ghost, everything follows with dead certainty, even in the midst of chaos."


released October 22, 2016

Brendan MacBrayne- Music
Ollie Aldridge- Strings on "In Hell, Everything is Fine"
Naomie- Artwork



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Track Name: "You'll Be Fine..."
The buried are speaking to you. The once thought to be dead are actually in your ears now. I promised to never forget. Even if I tried, you wouldn't be gone. Your destruction, it has begun to destroy me. Lesson truly learned, this is selfish. I may not have felt the burning building. But I know enough, to know you should be here. I'm sorry i couldn't do my part. But, it doesn't all fall on me, it truly was on you.
Track Name: In Hell, Everything is Fine
They say in Heaven, it all is fine. Taking words from a hymn, as a means to an end. Less ending one, more starting another. A move from discomfort, to a world of ease. To float away into clouds. No more lonely walks on the gravel. Just drifting through a path untraveled. My break never arrived. So I made my own. An eraser of my mind. A highway to the ecstasy and delirium.

I'm fine.
Track Name: Three Cold Junkies on Analgesics
Choking on pills to supposedly cleanse my lunacy. Waiting upon a never-approaching train, in the form of a pleasant thought. Advised not to dwell. But, I never chose to. Not even dismal. But, sure not content. Born against myself. A different set of eyes from those around me. But, who is correct anyway? Why run if the road never desists? Why quit if there never is an end? I'll leave this one open.
Track Name: Depression is Freedom
You write it on the walls in every shade of blue you can. I read it in my filter through every pretty color. No longer begging for drugs to reach this peak. The mountain is actually gone, through my mind at least. If I simply close my senses, nothing opens up the door. As my oldest brother said, depression is happiness. Freedom to feel is slavery, to a life of despair. So, why feel at all? Better nothing, than anguish. Through the impenetrable work world feeling is squeezed out. For good reason mind you. Or, are humans meant to cry? I remember being told, if you shut it out, it'll go away. But, I've tried that now, and now I have to implode.

A cave-in on my mind. Completely drug-free. All work and no play, made Brendan an angry boy.
Track Name: Open (The Dark)
Clocking in, days out within. Sun is out, sun is gone. Deprived of span. Replaced by numbness. No sadness felt. No emotions at all. Time moves without a pace. Just an object of science. No data in. No data out. No relief desired. Nothing desired at all. Trading torment for anesthesia. The wealth is a lack of feeling. I don't feel. I don't want to.
Track Name: A Life With Soma
Falling from an infinite set of skies. All liquids drained from the body. All sanity drained from the psyche. All cares drained from the id. Humming sad songs through this dream, waking within it maybe. As I realize this talent I wield, I question what good it actually serves. I can see anything. Taste anything. Feel anything. Smell anything. Why want to? My super-ego bursts in. As he argues with the id, the ego acts as the parent.

Responsibility piling on. Awoke from that dreadful ringing. Answer it quickly with a question. No answer. Now I'm out of the dream. Before I even got to the good part. Ah well. Already forgotten.